I have been meaning to start a fashion/lifestyle blog for the LONGEST time and I just never got around to it. This year my new years resolution was "to do something awesome with my life" and I'm hoping that this blog will eventually play a part in that resolution. fashion is something I have a major passion for, from the age of 5 I knew I wanted to be a designer. I worked my butt off through High School and college to get onto a fashion degree course at University, which I did. However it wasn't all plain sailing.
Degree courses are very VERY structured and don't give people like me who are not into the "norm" much creative freedom,I struggled through two years before I decided that this wasn't what I thought it was going to be. I was literally heart broken, to have your hopes and dreams stamped on is well and truly one of the most difficult things I've ever had to face. I left the course and decided I wanted to remove myself from all aspects of the fashion circle, I didn't enjoy the atmosphere or the people I had met connected with it.
I still enjoy fashion itself, I love putting outfits together and seeing how far I can push it, but being a designer is just not the career for me. I often think that it would have been a different story if I had pursued fashion promotion instead. I know I would have fared much better with that but at the time it wasn't what I wanted. The only other fall back I had was Graphic Design, something I was just good at. It wasn't a passion of mine at all but at the time it was only thing that I could tangibly make a career out of. I got through the three years and got a degree that I hated and it just got stuck up on a shelf so to speak.
After exhausting my creative abilities I thought that was the end for me, that id never get any love out of anything creative again. Then I rediscovered music.
I had never even considered having a career in music, sure I had been in a few High School bands when I was younger and messed about in the music department at school but I didn't have the confidence to do anything with it. I knew I could sing, I sang literally all the time but always to myself, I never told my parents that I could sing, my closest friends knew and only because I told them, I wouldn't dare burst into song in front of anyone. I was literally scared to death.
So to my surprise when I was approached to sing in a band my first thought was, no don't be stupid you cant do this and you know you cant, why are you even thinking about it? I told the guys that I would think about it. I took a couple of weeks with it, knowing full well that I was going to say no.
I went to work as usual and spoke to one of my co workers about it and that I was defiantly going to say no. He asked me why, I replied that I just couldn't do it. He asked me what was stopping me, I replied, "me"
It was like something clicked. The only reason I hadn't done anything with my voice in the past was because of my own fears, no one was telling me I couldn't do any of these things, I was stopping myself and I had no idea why. This is something I could really make a go of, and it had been a secret dream of mine for years, combined with the new confidence I had gained from modelling for the past couple of years I thought "fuck it, why not"
So I went and did a rehearsal. I was terrified. The most scared I'd been in my whole life, but I got through it and they loved me.
It gave me the confidence I needed and now 3 years on I'm in a pretty popular band, we're about to make our 4th studio album and I couldn't be happier about it. With that being said this is my new outlet, I know I can make a career for myself that doesn't include serving customers 5 days a week. So here it goes....wish me luck
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